


Like We Never Loved At All

by ouatrarepairs



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-23
Updated: 2014-12-23
Packaged: 2018-03-03 02:16:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2834507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ouatrarepairs/pseuds/ouatrarepairs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Scarlet Hook Rockstar!AU in which Killian and Will are former bandmates and ex-boyfriends with unfinished business. Pretty much two-and-a-half thousand words of angst with a smutty payoff at the end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like We Never Loved At All

**Author's Note:**

> Written as a part of the Rare Pairs Christmas on my tumblr account

In retrospect, Killian should have known that getting involved with a bandmate wasn’t a good idea, but, in his defense, it was honestly hard to remember that when Will’s lips were on his neck.

_(Or anywhere else on him, for that matter.)_

Dating Will Scarlet had proven to be the worst decision he’d ever made. When they were together, everything was amazing – record sales were up, the band became more of a unit than it already had been, and, of course, there was the bonus of getting laid whenever he wanted it. 

If he was being honest with himself – which didn’t happen too often these days – he’d admit that he wanted Will for more than that. Will had been his best friend, his partner in crime, maybe even the love of his life. They were together for three years, and, as much as he liked to deny it, they were the best three years of his life. But, all of that was over now.

Now, not quite a year after their split, Killian sat alone sipping rum in a hotel bar. After their breakup had caused the band to splinter into shambles, Killian and Will had both pursued solo careers, which were met with the same amount of success. That is it say, more than they were expecting.

This weekend they were both in town for some stupid awards show that Killian would much rather be watching on his television at home. He didn’t want to see Will, he didn’t want to speak to Will, he didn’t even want to hear Will’s voice. And, if he so much as heard Will’s name he would—

“ _Will Scarlet_!” 

Killian turned his head to see the source of his heartbreak stumbling into the bar while the bright, blinding lights of camera bulbs flashed. After posing in the doorway to wave and smile for the cameras, Will stepped in and closed the door behind him. With a sigh, he removed the shades he was wearing and almost immediately made eye contact with Killian, who abruptly paid the barman and rose from his seat.

He did his best not to look Will in the eye as he passed him, but that plan proved to be useless when he felt a hand on his wrist, tugging him back.

“Oi, where do you think you’re headed, mate?”

His heart sank in his chest as he turned around to look at Will – the same goofy ears, the same old black leather jacket, and the same hazel eyes he couldn’t admit to himself that he still loved.

“I’m leaving,” Killian muttered as he pulled his hand out of Will’s grasp. 

“You don’t have to do tha—”

“Yes, Will, I do. And the fact that you’d ask me to stay tells me that you have no idea what you’ve put me through.” Instead of waiting for Will to reply to him, Killian backed away and left the bar, fumbling to put his sunglasses on his face as the paparazzi outside began to snap their pictures.

-/-

The next time Killian saw him it was later that night in the lobby of the hotel. Will was leaned up against the wall by the elevators with some blonde all dressed in red leaning up against him. They were laughing together at whatever she’d just said and Killian felt his heart squeeze painfully at the sound. It had been months since he’d heard Will’s laugh in person, but instead of making him smile like it used to, it only made him sick.

When Will pulled the girl into his arms and kissed her neck, Killian’s stomach turned as he forced himself to look away.

He decided to take the stairs.

-/-

On the eve of the awards show (Killian _still_ wasn’t sure which one) he was called upon to rehearse the number he was supposed to be performing on the big night. After a quick run-through of the two songs he was set to play, Killian went backstage to find something to eat while he waited to practice presenting the award he was assigned.

“Hey,” Killian froze when he heard Will’s voice behind him and he clenched his eyes shut before turning around.

When he opened them, Will was looking at him somewhat shyly, his hands in the pockets of his jeans as he waited for Killian to greet him in turn.

“I have to go,” Killian muttered as he made to leave, but Will only followed him, intent on speaking with him this time.

“I’m not going to let you run away again, Killian. It’s about time we talked.”

Killian snorted sardonically at that as he continued to walk away. “Easy for you to say.”

“Okay,” Will reached out for Killian’s shoulder and spun him around, gripping the material of his tee shirt tightly in his fist, “the bloody hell is that supposed to mean?”

Killian pushed Will’s hand off of his shoulder and took a step closer, his jaw set in a hard line. “It means, I’m not surprised that after breaking up with me and blatantly ignoring me for ten months, I’m not surprised that you’d show up and start demanding my time as if I owe you something.”

Will scoffed at that and rolled his eyes. “Oh, so I ignored you, did I? I wasn’t aware that calling you once a bloody week for three months is ignoring you. I didn’t know that showing up to your apartment to talk with you is ignoring you. I also must have missed the memo that said standin’ in front of you and _beggin’_ to talk to you is ignoring you!”

“Lower your voice,” Killian growled as he stepped away from Will and walked into his dressing room, knowing that Will wasn’t going to give up so easily.

Killian sat on the arm of the couch as Will walked in and closed the door behind him. “I’m not going to let you turn this around on me.”

Killian let out a sound that was halfway between a groan and laugh as he tiredly rubbed at his face. “And why am I not surprised that you’re going to make this about you?”

“This is about me!” Will nearly shouted as he walked over to where Killian sat. “It’s about me, and you, and your ego keep us apart.”

“ _My_ ego?” Killian asked incredulously. “You’re kidding yourself.”

“Yes, your ego! Or your pride, call it whatever you like, the outcome is still the same. So I hurt your feelings when I broke up with you? So what? I’ve been trying to apologize and talk to you ever since it happened. Do you think this has been easy on me at all?”

“Of _course_ it has!” Killian replied, “Especially when you have pretty blonde arm candy to keep you company.”

A look of dumbfounded shock settled onto Will’s face when he heard what Killian had said. “Excuse me?”

“I saw the two of you together last night, Will. So you can go ahead and talk about your feelings and your pain all you want, but that doesn’t change the fact that last night you were fucking someone else.”

“That’s what this is about? Anastasia?”

“ _Anastasia_.” Killian repeated the name in a mocking whisper as he sank into the couch and closed his eyes. “I have no problem with Anastasia. My problem is with you.”

“Well, it’s hard to solve that problem if every time you see me you run away like a scared little boy. Seriously, Killian, how hard could it be to just talk to me? I know I hurt you but—”

“You don’t know anything! There’s a reason I can’t be around you, Will!” Killian shouted, no longer able to keep his voice under control. “It’s not my ego, it’s not my pride, it’s my bloody heart! Seeing you _hurts_ me. It hurts me so much more than I’d like to admit and I never in a million years thought that this would be us. The fighting, the yelling, the insults, barely even able to hear each other’s names. None of this was what I wanted.” He finished speaking and leaned back in the couch, resting his head against its upholstered back as he sighed and closed his eyes, letting a single tear fall free and roll down his cheek.

Will had no idea what to say, so instead of opening his mouth and making things worse, he turned to leave the dressing room, pretending he didn’t hear Killian when he spoke again and said, “All I wanted was you.”

-/-

The red carpet was exhausting.

Having to keep a genuine-looking grin on his face as a million bright lights flashed before his eyes was never something that Killian enjoyed. It had been easier back when he had his bandmates by his side, but doing it solo was far too lonely for his taste. 

He milled through the crowds and walked toward the venue, only stopping when she spotted Will a few yards away. Killian couldn’t help but notice that he was alone and chastised himself for being glad that Will hadn’t brought Anastasia along.

He waited for the moment Will was caught up answering questions for some newsmagazine to quietly walk past, holding his breath with every step.

It wasn’t until Killian was on stage with the sealed envelope in his hands that he realized Will was in the category he was presenting. He nearly stuttered over his name as he read off the nominees, and his breath caught in his throat when he opened the envelope and saw _Will Scarlet_ printed inside.

Killian was happy that Will had won, but the smile on his face was fake as he handed the award over and stepped off to the side. Will came up to the microphone and gave a short speech of acceptance. Afterward, he turned to Killian but looked away before either of them had a chance to react.

The after party was short-lived for Killian, who downed a few shots and left before he’d be forced to talk to anyone he knew. He wasn’t in the mood for it. However, he should have known that he wasn’t going to be let off the hook that easily.

As he walked down a quiet hallway, he heard footsteps behind him and stopped. With a sigh he turned around to find Will trailing behind him.

“What is it now, Scarlet?” Killian asked, scrubbing at his face as he held his breath in anticipation of whatever Will had come to say.

“I dunno, I just…” he trailed off and waited for Killian to look at him. “I’ve been thinking about you. Even more than usual, and I wanted to let you know that I still care.”

Killian nodded at that, although his expression remained neutral. “ _You still care_? Did you care about me when you broke my heart a year ago? Did you care about me when you continued on with your life as if I didn’t matter to you at all? Did you care about me when you took that bimbo up to your room the other night?”

Will’s confidence faltered for a moment before he nodded. “Yes, Killian. I cared. Things have gotten so bitter and complicated between us and I don’t know what happened.”

“Let me fill you in.” Killian started as he put his hands into the pockets of his pants and took a few steps forward. “You, after three beautiful years of sharing your life with me, decided that I was holding you back, but instead of being upfront with me and telling me that your feelings had changed, you got scared and broke up with me through our manager.”

“Killian, I made a mistake—”

“No, Will, I did.” Killian cut him off, no longer wanting to hear his excuses. “I was the one who made the mistake when I believed that you could love me enough to change yourself. I mean, honestly, after having known you since we were teenagers, I should have expected this. I’d seen you break the hearts of almost every single person who ever loved you, but I foolishly thought that you wouldn’t do that to me. I thought that you cared about me more than you did everyone else. We were _friends_ , Will. You were my everything, and you let me down. You embarrassed me and made me look an idiot. I don’t know how I could ever forgive that.

“Killian, please!” Will finally spoke again, his voice wavering as he wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand. “I’m ready now. I can change for you. If you gave me another chance, things’ll be different.”

“I’ve been waiting for ten months to hear you say those words, and now that you have, I really don’t know what to say.”

“Say that you still feel something for me, anything.” Will pleaded, “I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah,” Killian sighed as he turned and walked away, “I am, too.” Before leaving, Killian turned back and looked Will, whose eyes were red with unshed tears. “When you want me – and I mean _really_ want me – you know where I’ll be.”

-/-

When Killian got back to his hotel room he sighed loudly as he threw himself onto the plush bed, not even bothering to take off his clothes. He kicked off his shoes and crawled up the mattress, closing his eyes as soon as his head hit the pillow.

He wasn’t sure how long he’d been asleep – or if he’d even slept at all – before there was a knock at his door. He rubbed his eyes to shake the sleep from them before he opened the door and found Will standing in the hall. 

“I have and will always want you.” Will blurted out before Killian even addressed him. 

Killian looked at him for a moment, his expression unchanging. “Why should I believe you?”

“Bloody hell, I don’t know!” Will sighed, clapping his hands to his forehead and running them over his buzzed hair. “But I’m here, right now, asking– no, _begging_ you to take me back. I need you, and I am so, so very lost without you.”

“Will, I—”

“Killian, I love you.”

Hearing those words from Will’s mouth again caused Killian’s heart to skip a beat as he felt a pang of nerves sliver in the pit of his stomach. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes as he tried to remember how everything had gone wrong, but all he heard echoing in his head were those three words and all of the pleasant memories they evoked. “Bloody hell,” Killian sighed before grabbing Will by the collar and pulling him into a hard, bruising kiss.

Will immediately wrapped his arms around Killian’s waist and kissed him back, smiling against his lips when Killian whispered back, “Gods, I love you, too.”

Before Killian even realized what was happening, he was on the bed, lying on his back as Will kissed him, trailing his lips down Killian’s jaw and stopping to kiss and bite at his neck.

_(Killian would never admit to anyone how much he’d missed that.)_

He breathed in a shaky gasp when he felt Will’s hand on the buckle of his belt, deftly opening it and sliding his hand inside. Killian bit his lip as Will grasped him firmly, stroking him up and down as he fought not to thrust into Will’s fist.

“I’ve missed you so much,” Will breathed against Killian’s lips as he brushed his thumb over the head of Killian’s cock, smiling once more as Killian shivered in his hold.

“Don’t tell me,” Killian pulled Will up and kissed him again, biting at his bottom lip as he pulled away and looked him in the eye, “show me.”

“I can do that,” Will promised before crawling down the bed and kneeling between Killian’s spread legs. He stroked Killian’s cock to attention (which, to be honest, didn’t take long) before he looked up into the darkened blue eyes above him and lowered his mouth down, sealing his lips around the head.

“Fuck,” Killian sighed through gritted teeth, and inwardly Will wondered how long it’d been since he’d been with another person. He ultimately decided not to think about it as he began to bob his head back and forth, paying attention to the spots he remembered drove Killian crazy. He was rewarded when Killian bucked his hips upward, causing his cock to brush the back of Will’s throat.

Will didn’t pull away, only took more of Killian in until his nose was pressed up against the dark curls at the base of Killian’s cock. Slowly, he moved upward again, dragging his tongue up the underside until he released Killian from his mouth with a loud, wet smack.

Killian bit his lip as he looked down at Will, whose own mouth was red and swollen. He had the urge to kiss those lips, but didn’t want to stop Will from continuing. 

After taking a moment to catch his breath Will returned to work, swirling his tongue around the head of Killian’s cock and stroking the shaft as he hummed contentedly in the back of his throat.

No matter how much time had passed, this still felt right. Being with Killian. This still felt like the place he was meant to be, and he felt like the biggest arse in the world for having wasted so much time that they could have spent together. When Will came back to himself, Killian was clutching him by the shoulder and pulling him up, up, up until their lips met in a heated and hungry kiss.

Will balanced his weight on his arms on either side of Killian as the brunet reached for his pants and palmed his already-stiff cock. He groaned when Killian pushed his pants down below his arse and grabbed his cock, holding it against his own as he began to stroke them both in one of his large hands.

Will let out a ragged breath before letting his head fall down to rest on Killian’s shoulder, fucking his cock into Killian’s fist and reveling in the friction of Killian’s cock against his.

“Will, I’m so close,” Killian breathed, and Will kissed him once more before returning to his knees and sucking Killian off until he was coming down his throat. The groan that passed Killian’s lips as he came nearly caused Will to shoot over his own hand as he jerked himself off. 

Killian pulled Will up to him again and kissed him, tasting himself on Will’s lips as he flipped them over and moved to return the favor.

It wasn’t long until Will’s hand was anchored in the thick, dark hair as he fucked Killian’s face. When he came, Killian’s blunt nails were digging into his hips as he spilled into Killian’s mouth.

Killian crawled up Will’s body and kissed him, but this time it was a soft, languid meeting of lips as they both came down from their highs. 

“Bloody hell,” they both said in unison and laughed afterward, feeling lighter than they had in a year.

They laid together in silence for a few minutes before Killian spoke. “I love you, Will, and I’m happy to have you back, but if you break my heart again, I promise you I’ll—”

He didn’t even make it through his statement before Will’s lips were on his once more, and he nearly forgot what he was going to say.

“You don’t have to tell me, I know. And I promise this time will be different.”

Killian smiled and laid his head down on Will’s chest, ignoring the way his stomach fluttered at the smell of Will’s cologne. He sighed happily and closed his eyes before he replied, “I know.”


End file.
